Jimmy Alison

Dave: (Agitated) O, "see" as well?

Raymond: You see do, say and ask. It works well. It always has. Nobody can change it.

Duggie: We can't have new people come in here and change it. Not just like that.

Raymond: Don't worry, Dave. You can trust us, you see. Have a seat.

Dave: Did nobody tell you what's in this house and what's not! Did anybody care to tell you that there are no seats!?

Raymond: I have a seat.

Duggie: Raymond has the seat. If you want to do you see Reggie who ask me and I say to Raymond.

Dave: Reggie, why don't you tell him there are no other seats in here?

Duggie: Reggie ask.

Dave: Reggie?...

Raymond: Reggie ask. You see.

Dave: Great! Just great! The man who's supposed to ask wouldn't know what to ask!

Duggie: We say Reggie what to ask.

Dave: And you? You have the say but you're nuts!

Reggie: Are you nuts, Duggie?

Duggie: I say I'm not nuts!

Dave: The man who's supposed to do won't be able to because he can't see what he's doing! And to top it all, this poor man is here to listen be he can't hear what's going on! How do you run this place? Is that what you call it: a place? A house? And it's bloody well stinking in here!

Reggie: Dave, would you like to sit on the podium?

Dave: Reggie, let's get out of here.

Reggie: I ask.

Dave: Reggie, come on! Let's go. (He moves toward Reggie but Duggie grabs him. There is a struggle until Duggie get Dave down)

Duggie: Reggie, hold him down! (Reggie does)

Dave: Reggie, don't do it! Don't do it!

Reggie: (Sits on top of Dave) Like this?

Do-Do: (Excited noises)

Duggie: Shut up, Do-Do.

Raymond: Shut up, Do-Do!

Reggie: (Laughs) Shut up, Do-Do. (They all laugh. Dave struggling to get free)

Dave: Let me go! Let me go!

Reggie: Must I let him go, Raymond?

Raymond: Duggie has the say.

Duggie: I say we play with him.

Raymond: Yes, you play with him.

Reggie: May I also play with him?

Raymond: Yes, you play with him - like with the other.
(They all are excited. Start stripping Dave of shoes, trousers. Duggie takes it over to Raymond who feels it and then says Ano good, no good@ on each item. Dave struggling helplessly. Do-Do follows the items and back to watch silently. Then:)

Reggie: May I play with my toys, Raymond?

Raymond: You play with the special toy.

Duggie: Yes, the special toy! Doctor, doctor...

Reggie: Yes, yes! Doctor, doctor. (Over to Raymond who leans over to feel for the first-aid kit and then holds it for Reggie to take. Do-Do very excited)

Raymond: You fix him, Reggie.

Duggie: Reggie fixes Dave.

Dave: What are you going to do? What are going to do? There's nothing wrong with me!

Reggie: Dave hurts. Reggie fixes Dave's see. (Only bandages in kit. Reggie takes one roll and wraps it around Dave's face. They are enjoying this. Dave's face is covered. He suffocates. He struggles and then is still. They laugh. Raymond also starts laughing)

Duggie: Dave feels better now.

Reggie: Will Dave play more?

Duggie: No, Dave see he is happy now.

Raymond: Dave see too much. (Slight pause)

Reggie: Have I finished playing now, Raymond?

Raymond: Yes, Reggie, you put things away now.

Duggie: Reggie, put your toys away.
(Duggie helps Reggie drag Dave up to the cupboard for as far as he can reach. Reggie opens cupboard door. Some toys fall out. Also one skeleton and one body. Reggie puts them all back in and then stuffs Dave in as well. Closes cupboard. They were laughing throughout. Enjoying it. Do-Do was just watching. Then there is an eerie silence. They seem content. Then:)

Raymond: They want us to be in this place.

Duggie: I have the say.

Raymond: I have the do.

Reggie: May I ask?

Duggie and Raymond: No.

Lights fade slowly

- End -